MAY 10th. Tip #2: How to Brownnose a Place to Stay & Slob Your Way to the Top

Many of the devil-worshipping international conglomerates set up their employees in spacious suites and apartments with plenty of room for beggars such as yourself. This feat will require significant brown-nosing time while stateside, so you should begin well before the festival to ensure you have a place to stay. And if you are a good-looking, moderately talented person it could enhance your career by leaps and bounds (depending on whose room you wind up in and how sweet your lips are).

However, to remain in the heart of the action Troma Team will be reserving two shitty apartments around the corner from the Carlton Hotel. Each of which sleeps six (as recommended by the Board of Health) but can accommodate at least 50 in a pinch. Part of the fun of this method is that you never know who might be crawling into your sleeping bag with you, drunk and open to suggestion at 4:32 a.m. Perhaps, a lovely Tromette or possibly Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD.