MAY 22nd Tip #10: Hookers, Hand towels and a Few Final Tips

You've already left for Cannes, you're sleeping on the beach, you don't have a dime to your name and you forgot to pack toiletries. This is a recipe for disaster. Filthy Eurotrash are fashionable, but the smell of an un-wiped ass betrays the fact that you're a vagrant independent filmmaker.

You can gather supplies at any of the fancy hotels. However, you will have to assume the look of an arrogant, pretentious asshole (see Tip #6) to avoid inspection from the hotel security forces. Yet there are many provisions to be pilfered. You can take toilet paper, soap and towels from the lobby's bathrooms.

And one more thing every Cannes visitor should know: the best transvestite hookers hang out just off the Croissette on the side streets only a couple of blocks from the Carlton. If you see Max tell him that Naughty Boy Lloyd said "hi".