MAY 9th. Tip #1: Where to Sleep

The hotels in Cannes are ridiculously expensive and, if I am not mistaken, all of them - from the flophouses to the majestic - raise their prices for the festival. If you aren't with Eisner (or you don't have a kidney to spare) you're going to have to figure out some kind of affordable accommodations.

For those who appreciate the fresh air, I recommend the beach as a good way to cut the cost of shelter entirely. You will also avoid having to affect the "filthier than thou" European look so popular at the festival. Furthermore, this will give you the added benefit of staking out the best spots for watching naked, melon-heavy, gyno-European sun worshippers the next morning. However, you must be careful. Although the French are open to many things, they may not appreciate you beating your baguette in public. Also, it is possible that you'd get glued to your sleeping bag.

In the early 70's we could camp on the beach in front of the Carlton. Now mace, guard dogs and roving bands a security gangs have become hostile towards beach sleepers. So try the public beach down near the Palais or in the other direction around the Hotel Martinez.

Many of the Troma employees don't even bother with the beach. They collapse in a puddle of puke about a block from the train station.